Don't get me wrong..Im sure that this is where God wants me..Im just not really sure why California is the place He finally chose.
I have to be honest with you..Im scared out of my mind. First, comes the worry of finances..I dont even have half the money I need to have..I dont know if Im going to be able to get a job that will give me enough money to survive..Im in need quite a bit. And then, this whole moving out business is a first for me. I've been packing up my room and just watching as, slowly, my room becomes more and more empty is freaking me out more than a little. I realized that, whereas, I probably wouldn't be happy staying here, I would be comfortable. I've spent my entire teenage life here..I have so many memories, I know this town like the back of my hand (pardon the cliche)...I would be VERY comfortable living here the rest of my life. But, then the Lord quietly reminded me that a comfortable life is not what Im meant to live. That I had told Him I would go wherever He sent me and I would do whatever He told me to do. So with that little rebuke on my mind, I have decided that I may not fully understand and it may be scary and a little (or alot) uncomfortable, I will do whatever He tells me to do and I will go wherever He tells me to go.
That said..Im still scared..Im still worried..but I trust that God will never do anything to hurt me and that He will always take care of me. He has never failed me before...
Healer
You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease
I trust in You
I trust in You
I believe You're my Healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my Portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus, You're all I need.
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible
Nothing is impossible for You
You hold the world in Your hand
I love this song..it was written by a guy who has cancer. The first time I heard it, it was on a Hillsong DVD, and this guy got up on stage, pulling his oxygen tank behind him, and started to play this song. It was amazing. If I can find the video of it, I'll try to post it.
1 comment:
Allison! I can't believe you're leaving me! :( I am going to be so unbelievably sad. I am excited for you though. I know that God is going to honor your faith to step out into the unknown trusting that He's going to provide. I imagine that, that is a very scary feeling. He is faithful. He may not be on our time but He's still faithful. I am so proud of you and though I'm selfish and would like to lock you up here, I know that here is obviously not where you're supposed to be right now. I'm praying for you and though you'll be halfway across the country, I'll always be here for you! I love you so much and I am so glad that God brought us into each other's lives! We have so many great memories together that I will always cherish! Love you, love you, love you!!!
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